Once again

It doesn't take much to make me an emotional wreck.

That may seem really cheesy to say, but it's true. When disaster strikes, I am only able to absorb the news/social media/conversations, etc., for a limited amount of time before I have to crawl into my shell and regroup. 

At the same time, I know I am extremely lucky and privileged to be able to do that. So many people in the world, and in this country, can't shut off disaster, because it is with them every day, every year. They are living it, physically, or are scarred by it mentally. I can sit in my house and sympathize, and then retreat to heal myself, because I have that advantage. 

It's not enough. 

I listen, trying to understand the other person's perspective, knowing full well I can never truly comprehend their situation. 

I read, educating myself on history, culture, micro-aggressions, violence, racism, so that I can speak more intelligently on subjects when discussing them, especially with other white people. 

I want to do more. So I keep trying. Keep empathizing. Keep reading. Keep listening. 

What I don't understand is how people don't try. How they can see children suffering in the streets, sleeping outside, haunted by bullets and death, and how they say, "Not my problem." "Not here." 

We have a lot of problems in this country, yes. But we've always told ourselves we had hearts big enough for others as well. I just wish more people would actually live by the words they say they believe in. 

Sending prayers, comfort, and love to the victims in Nigeria today. I only wish they would receive the same attention as their counterparts in Paris. 

NaBloPoMo Update

So, as I found out, there is a equivalent for NaNoWriMo for bloggers, which is NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Post Month. I've been participating, unofficially, this month just to get myself back into writing on a regular basis. Now, halfway through, here are some reflections:

1. Coming up with topics to write about every day is usually pretty difficult. Unfortunately, world and national events right now keep throwing things my way. I would like to write about more bookish things, but my heart is elsewhere right now.

2.  I'm seriously contemplating two blogs: one for reading/bookish posts, and the other for more personal/social posting. I just feel as if this blog doesn't really have a topical focus. But maybe that's ok, too. I have a variety of interests and leanings, so maybe this blog should reflect that as well.

3.  It scares me to share some of my ideas in this format because it makes one vulnerable and open to attack. I've been extremely lucky and haven't had to deal with the hatred that some of my fellow female bloggers have, and saddened that people are attacked daily for expressing themselves.

4. It's crazy to me to think that there are people who read everything I'm writing on here. Especially when I realize I'm sharing my ideas with literally the entire world. I have had readers from England, Ireland, France, Germany, Portugal, Russia, just to name a few. I'm not sure what draws you to my blog, but I appreciate the support from the bottom of my heart!

4.  It's ok if you miss a day (or two). Last week I didn't write for two days because one of my dearest friends stopped to spend some time on her way to Florida. That was much more important than posting. Perspective is important.

5. I start and delete more posts than I actually publish.

6. I've been enjoying this much more than I thought.

Selective Hearing

We hear the cries
from France
News cycles devoted
to tragedy,
to the lives lost,
to the terrorists who
invaded our quiet lives
again.

We change our pictures to
red white blue
Vow solidarity
Forgetting about
"freedom fries"
at least, for now.

The world coming
together,
United against hate.
It's a beautiful thing
to see.

But where is our unity
for Beirut?
for Iraq?
for Syria?
for Kenya?
Hundreds of voices
silenced each day,
but no flags fly in those colors
across our profiles.

The news
mentions those tragedies
then moves on,
to other
"more important"
stories.

Where is our union
against the hundreds of lives lost
here
in this country
to violence
every week?

What makes a country worthy
of having the news
devoted to those lost?

What makes a life worthy
of such attention?

How do we choose who to mourn?

Why do we choose who to mourn?

Rabbit Hole #24: The Be a Good Human Tag

Several months ago, the amazing Jen Campbell, author of Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops (or Bookstores, if you have the American version, because apparently we wouldn't know what a bookshop was? Silly publishers) posted a BookTube video called the Be a Good Human Tag. In it, she showcased several books she felt make people open their eyes to the world around them and understand the humanity around us.

Books have the ability to change the way we look at people. They allow us to empathize with those who are different from us, learn about other cultures, understand history, and so much more. No other medium quite has the same effect.

So in the wake of everything that has been happening in the United States and around the world this past year (and of course, much longer), I thought I would create my own list. In no particular order, I present a snapshot of the following:

Nine Lives by David Baum: This is a nonfiction book chronicling the lives of nine New Orleanians from Hurricane Betsy through Hurricane Katrina. The individuals come from all walks of life: rich, poor, black, white, gay, and straight. They all cope with the tragedies in different ways, but they are all transformed by what happens. For those who don't truly know what happened here during the storm, this will open your eyes.

Citizen by Claudia Rankine: Part poetry, part essay, part photographic essay, this is a fierce look at race relations in America today. Rankine pulls no punches with this one, but this is not a topic we should shy away from. A must read for anyone who cares about our country today.

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver: A beautifully written book about the negative impact of colonialism, this also tackles the dangers of trying to impose one's beliefs on others. Told through the perspectives of four young women and their mother as they are carted off to the Congo in the 1950s by their zealot missionary father, Kingsolver tackles American foreign policy, gender issues, religion, and a host of other topics.

Native Son by Richard Wright: The oldest book on this list, but still a necessary one, Wright's dark tale of Bigger Thomas, a young black man trapped by economic circumstances, resonates even today. Some people like to believe that all one has to do is work hard, and he'll get ahead; Wright shows that there are larger forces working against people in America, and against minorities in particular.

March Vols. 1-2 by Rep. John Lewis: One of the best graphic novel series I've read, this is Rep. Lewis' autobiography of his time in the Civil Rights Movement. While it's useful as a history, it's also insightful into what is going on today as we continue to tackle racial discrimination in this country. The more things change...

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Saénz: The story of two young Hispanic boys growing up and discovering their sexuality, this YA novel is heartbreaking as well as beautiful. I think my favorite part of this novel is the way the parents are portrayed; they are fierce and loving, regardless of who their boys are.

Whistling Vivaldi by Claude M. Steele: This book is an in-depth look at stereotypes and how they affect each and every one of us on a daily basis. It's a thorough analysis of microaggressions, and how/why they are so hard to overcome.

A Constellation of Vital Phenomena by Anthony Marra: This is a gut-wrenching book about the horrors of war, both for the people directly involved and those on the fringes. It takes place in Chechnya in 2004, where war is still tearing people's lives apart. Americans as a whole have very little knowledge of what it is like to live in a war-torn country and have no idea what they would have to do to survive.

Zami: A New Spelling of My Name by Audre Lorde: This is Lorde's autobiography of growing up poor, black and gay, and an ode to all of the women who shaped her into the person she became. This is one of the most powerful autobiographies I've read.

Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi: Nafisi created a book club for women in Tehran, Iran, to expose them to Western classics. While that may not seem like much, one has to realize that Western books had been banned, and the women were literally taking their lives in their hands to read and attend these sessions. Part book discussion, part memoir, the books and these women's lives intertwine and show just how powerful literature is.

The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henríquez: I want to give this book to every person I hear disparaging immigrants--they seem to forget that these are human beings, with families and circumstances not that different from our own. The novel follows several families from Mexico and Latin America as they try to find a life in America. Some are undocumented, some have work visas, some are citizens, but all have very particular reasons for their journeys.


I could continue on and on with this list, and I know I didn't do these books justice. Please, just take some time to read. Be willing to step outside your comfort zone and learn about other peoples, places, religions, cultures, etc. The worst thing that will happen is that you'll expand your mind and learn that all humans are struggling, and we are better together.

Numb

Tonight, like most of the world, I'm numb. I've been glued to the news, listening to the latest devastating reports out of Paris, and this just a day after the terrible bombings in Beirut.

Another senseless attack.

More people killed.

More people using the incident to advance their xenophobic and racist agendas.


How much more hatred and bloodshed will we tolerate as a global society?

Why is it so easy for us to hate someone who is different from us?

Why do we feel the need to silence others?


Why is it so impossible to come up with answers?

Why do we keep hitting repeat?


Why?

Try empathy.

Why is it so hard to have empathy?

The following are some statements heard every day in this country:

All immigrants are illegals. 

All Muslims are terrorists. 

Gay people just want to turn everyone gay. 

People on welfare or minimum wage just need to work harder. 

If you're homeless, you're an alcoholic or a junkie. 

Black people don't care about family. 

And the list goes on and on....

We're all guilty of it. We say things, or assume things, about people every day, and never realize the negative atmosphere we are contributing to. 

We spend so much time demonizing others that we never step back and try to see things from their perspective. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has an amazing TED Talk about the dangers of just seeing people from one lens, about insisting that each person has a single story about him or herself. When we refuse to see a person as a sum of their parts, and insist that we "know" about them because of one aspect of who they are, we are denying them their humanity.

This lack of empathy is at the root of all of our problems as a country, and as a world.

We're so focused on the sound bite, the snapshot, that we forget to truly see people for who they are, and it makes us that much poorer for it.

It takes so little to listen to people.

Just. Listen.

Good for Mizzou

Good for Mizzou. Those are honestly words I never thought I would say in my lifetime. As a Husker fan, there is no love lost between our two programs. There have been contentious situations with fans, some of them ending less than sportsmanlike.

But there are things much more important. Today, Missouri's President Tim Wolfe and Chancellor announced their resignations following months of a lackluster, almost non-response to student complaints of racism. The protest began earlier this fall, culminating a week ago with a hunger strike by Jonathan Butler, a black graduate student, and the announcement that Missouri's black football players, with full support from their coaching staff and teammates, would not practice or participate in any games until Wolfe stepped down.

The cynic in me believes that had the football team not taken that step, Butler would probably be hospitalized as a result of his hunger strike, and the status quo would remain the same. Things weren't moving forward in terms of resolving the issues. Wolfe basically said that "systemic oppression just meant you didn't think you were getting the same opportunities," an incredibly tone deaf sentiment to the very real oppression that happens to individuals every single day based on nothing more than skin color. Media coverage was also basically non-existent, until the team made their announcement. Suddenly, everyone knew about Mizzou.

Slate's Jessica Huseman came to a similar conclusion in her article today, "Should It Really Take a Football Team to Force Change on Campus?" She discusses the fact that the issues should have been resolved long before the team became involved, and seemed a little surprised, it seemed to me, that it would take a football team to change things.

It's not that surprising, though. Missouri stood to lose one million dollars if the team forfeited on Saturday. Money still rules the world, and it's a lesson the Civil Rights leaders of the 1950s and 60s knew well. The Montgomery Bus Boycotts worked because they disrupted the economics of the system. Find the people to protest, and cause people to lose the almighty dollar, and things get changed.

We have a long way to go in this country before we are truly equal, and there are many more battles to be fought. I hate that it takes such crude steps for people to do what is right. But in this case, it worked, and hopefully with a new administration, progress can begin at the school.

So, good for you, Mizzou. You've made the nation proud.