NaBloPoMo Wrap-up

It's the last day of November, and time for a little reflection on my personal NaBloPoMo experiment:

1. I wrote 23 out of 30 days. Not too bad; a few of the non-writing days were because of out-of-town guests, a couple of the others were simply because I needed to separate myself and process everything that was going on in the world. I am really happy with my totals, though, because it was more than I ever thought I would/could write, and it pushed me.

2. Given the world/national events, most of my posts were of a decidedly political bent, which is ok, because I'm tired of being quiet on things. I have a format where I can share my thoughts with lots of people, and it would be a waste to not speak my mind. I'm still not sure if I'm going to split the content into two blogs--one more bookish--but for now, I'm going to stick with the one.

3. That being said, I do want to write more bookish content, if only for my own sanity. I've read some amazing books this year, and other than updates and wrap-ups, I haven't talked much about them. I've started doing some book tags (ideas originated on BookTube), and while I like doing those, I'd like to do some more original content as well.

4. I'm going to be working on the quality of posts I put up as well. Most of them are spur-of-the-moment bursts, rather than well-planned out ones, and while those have their place, I am capable of higher-quality writing.

5. I probably won't keep up this pace for the next month; December is always crazy with family and friends and travel and gift-buying. . . I'm still going to try to post two a week at least.

Thanks for taking this journey with me!

NaBloPoMo Update

So, as I found out, there is a equivalent for NaNoWriMo for bloggers, which is NaBloPoMo, or National Blog Post Month. I've been participating, unofficially, this month just to get myself back into writing on a regular basis. Now, halfway through, here are some reflections:

1. Coming up with topics to write about every day is usually pretty difficult. Unfortunately, world and national events right now keep throwing things my way. I would like to write about more bookish things, but my heart is elsewhere right now.

2.  I'm seriously contemplating two blogs: one for reading/bookish posts, and the other for more personal/social posting. I just feel as if this blog doesn't really have a topical focus. But maybe that's ok, too. I have a variety of interests and leanings, so maybe this blog should reflect that as well.

3.  It scares me to share some of my ideas in this format because it makes one vulnerable and open to attack. I've been extremely lucky and haven't had to deal with the hatred that some of my fellow female bloggers have, and saddened that people are attacked daily for expressing themselves.

4. It's crazy to me to think that there are people who read everything I'm writing on here. Especially when I realize I'm sharing my ideas with literally the entire world. I have had readers from England, Ireland, France, Germany, Portugal, Russia, just to name a few. I'm not sure what draws you to my blog, but I appreciate the support from the bottom of my heart!

4.  It's ok if you miss a day (or two). Last week I didn't write for two days because one of my dearest friends stopped to spend some time on her way to Florida. That was much more important than posting. Perspective is important.

5. I start and delete more posts than I actually publish.

6. I've been enjoying this much more than I thought.

Stuck

Sigh.

Day four, and I'm stuck.

Writer's block.

I've started four posts and deleted them all because they just don't seem authentic today. They seem forced, stilted, and just plain bad.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy; it's been a long time since I've made daily writing a priority.

I just didn't think I'd hit a wall already.

I know I should just write something, anything, and post it, just to be writing, but I keep hearing the voices in the back of my head:

You can't do this. 

You're crazy for even thinking you can do this. 

You're not a writer. 

You don't want people to judge you. 

Your writing is horrible; no one is going to want to read what you have to say. 

I'm surprised they're as loud as they are today. It's only day four. 

How do I make them shut up? 

How do writers do this every day? Will I be able to do this every day?

NaNoWriMo--sort of

My favorite November "fad" isn't No Shave November. It's not Movember. It's not even the 30 days of blessings.

It's NaNoWriMo. 

For those of you who don't know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. Every year, thousands of people sign up to write 50, 000 words, roughly the length of a standard novel, in the month of November. It's now in its 16th year, and doesn't show any signs of slowing down. 

While I've never actually participated, I've lived vicariously through friends who have undertaken the challenge. I love seeing what all of those amazing minds create in just 30 short days. Of course, just writing that much doesn't guarantee a novel. It definitely doesn't guarantee a GOOD novel, one that will be picked up by publishers at the end of November and skyrocket to the top of the bestseller lists. (There are definitely exceptions, though: Sara Gruen's Water for Elephants, Marissa Meyer's Lunar Chronicles series, Rainbow Rowell's Fangirl, and my personal favorite, Erin Morgenstern's Night Circus, all started out as NaNoWriMo projects). 

For me, I'm starting small this year. My goal is to write a blog post a day--I'm not going to aim for a certain word count, just getting back into the habit of writing daily. It's something I used to do, but for one reason or another, I quit. And just like eating right, exercising, and other habits, once you stop, it's hard to get back to a schedule. 

I'm not sure what these posts will consist of. Some will be reading updates, of course; some will be observations of our new life here in New Orleans. The others? They'll be a surprise to us both. 

And then, who knows: maybe next year will be my novel year!

**So I found out there is actually a name for what I'm doing: NaBloPoMo--National Blog Posting Month. Who would have guessed? 

Cowardice

It took
a
long
time
to find my voice.

For years, I listened
to people who
ignored
dismissed
ridiculed
the things I said,
the things I held dear.

Shuttering my thoughts
behind
closed windows;
Moths
banging against the glass,
desperate to be free,
Only to die of exhaustion
on the window sill.

Slowly
very
slowly
I fought back:
Quit being so timid.
Quit being so scared.

Finding those who thought
my ideas
worth hearing,
I started opening up,
tentatively.
Ideas and thoughts
c r e e p i n g
toward the surface
like vines

Breaking down brick,
slipping into cracks
in the foundation,
striving to reach the sunlight.

They see the sunlight now.
The thoughts find their way out
More confidently than before,
Less afraid of what others
may think,
may say.

But.

But.

There are still
too many times:
Shrinking away from conflict
Refusing to engage
Creeping back into myself.

I let others down.

I let myself down.

It's easy to hide.
I have that luxury.

I keep trying.
Too many people are hurting.
I can't keep silent.
I can't keep
being
a
coward.