Monday, October 12, 2015

Cowardice

It took
a
long
time
to find my voice.

For years, I listened
to people who
ignored
dismissed
ridiculed
the things I said,
the things I held dear.

Shuttering my thoughts
behind
closed windows;
Moths
banging against the glass,
desperate to be free,
Only to die of exhaustion
on the window sill.

Slowly
very
slowly
I fought back:
Quit being so timid.
Quit being so scared.

Finding those who thought
my ideas
worth hearing,
I started opening up,
tentatively.
Ideas and thoughts
c r e e p i n g
toward the surface
like vines

Breaking down brick,
slipping into cracks
in the foundation,
striving to reach the sunlight.

They see the sunlight now.
The thoughts find their way out
More confidently than before,
Less afraid of what others
may think,
may say.

But.

But.

There are still
too many times:
Shrinking away from conflict
Refusing to engage
Creeping back into myself.

I let others down.

I let myself down.

It's easy to hide.
I have that luxury.

I keep trying.
Too many people are hurting.
I can't keep silent.
I can't keep
being
a
coward.






Thursday, October 1, 2015

Rabbit Hole #21: September Reading Wrap Up

I just realized I didn't do an August wrap-up...I blame starting a new job for that. Anyway, here are a few of my favorites read in September, in no particular order: 

Krik? Krak? by Edwidge Danticat: This is an beautiful and devastating short story collection weaving Haitian folk tale and myth with the immigrant experience and personal tragedy. Danticat's writing is exquisite; I sank into the book from the very first work. Most short story collections are hit and miss--there are usually duds in every grouping, but I didn't find that in here. All of the stories are linked subtly and build on the emotions of the previous one. I can't recommend this highly enough. 

A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness: Witches. Vampires. Ancient texts--it hits all of the right buttons for me. This is what Twilight wanted to be, and what Anne Rice novels are--a believable world inhabited by supernatural creatures who struggle just as much as we do with what it means to be "human". It has just the right balance of folklore, history, and action, and it has a realistic romance. This is the first in a trilogy, and I will definitely be picking up the other two. 

Brown Girl Dreaming by Jacqueline Woodsen: Part YA, part poetry, part memoir, and completely breathtaking, Woodsen tells the story of growing up African-American in the South during the Civil Rights Movement in a beautifully lyrical prose poem. She tells of bouncing between South Carolina and New York City, trying to balance both the northern and southern ways of life, her mother's activism, and her grandmother's religious expectations. This should be part of every school curriculum. 

And the award for the strangest book I read this month goes to Rats: Observations on the History and Habitat of the City's Most Unwanted Inhabitants by Robert Sullivan, and it's exactly what its title suggests--a book about rats.  I won't say this is a favorite, but it certainly will stick with me. In case you're worried, I didn't go searching this one out; it was on the shelf in my new classroom, and to be honest, it sounded...well, unique. What I really appreciated about this book was how Sullivan played with Walden, emulating the style and technique that Thoreau used in his work. I now know more about these little creatures than I ever thought (did you know they can chew through CONCRETE?!?). 

All in all, it was another good reading month. If you want to see everything I read, click here